It’s been a long time since you stumbled,
Been a long time since you started to let those tears get unhold.
You seem don’t even remember the last time you smiled genuinely
And don’t even bother sharing a glimpse of it again perfectly.
No one knows your pillows soaked in sea of tears
But worst is, you yourself is unaware of getting drowned from your riverflow of unexplained sorrows and fears.
You decided to respect your process of grieving and healing
Even so, you feel still stuck from the beginning.
Again, your soul is in astray
Always thinking to go through again to everything as before day by day.
You’re losing hope and impatience gnawing your whole
Until when you will let your self caged in a life full of pain, desolation and holes?
It’s bleeding again..
All she thought it’s good now.
He came back. It’s like the same old times. Athough it’s forbidden, he’s here. She didn’t expect that it still hurts. Losing a hand in the midst of a battle caused her to freeze for unknown period of time. It’s like she was betrayed by her own self.
She miss everything…everything.
She miss and badly needed a hug from him. All she wanted was to be wrapped in warm arms.
She feels empty…
Yet, she must survive.
No matter what words I might say and write, still they won’t be enough to express the feeling of and describe the gangrenous wound you’ve left. The deepest hole, greatest impact, highest shock I’ve ever felt in my existence.
Still I hope and pray, that writing would be a great way of getting through this unimaginable pain. Even as slow as a snail as long as I get moving, I know I will overcome this mountain.
I am here.
You are there.
Might say we are like the horizon.
Never will have the chance to suffice and meet each other’s longingness.
He was everything to her
And might be still.
But he doesn’t know
Because she’s now choosing her feelings to be killed.
She’s aware it’s not her fault
That she knew that even if she continue to treat him as her everything
And make him her king
Just the same, he will leave her hanging.
Once, he’d been her sunshine
But never thought he’d also be her dusk rushing.
It’s true that he’d been her sunrise and dawn
However, he’s also her sunset and equilibrium’s downfall .
2017! You are my year. No matter what life will offer, still you are and THE START OF MY GREAT YEARS AHEAD.